As part of my presentation at the Live Art Forum happening this week hosted by The Birmingham Rep, I'll be asking the audience to consider the following ten tips for the top in art according to Stan's Cafe (thought I'd share them with you c/o James Yarker)
1. Only do things you believe in.
2. Always try your hardest.
3. Always be honest.
4. Ignore fashion.
5. Give your ideas the best possible chance of being successful
6. Don’t undervalue yourselves.
7. Don’t be arrogant.
8. Remember being clever is pointless if no one cares..
9. Be optimistic, don’t’ be crazily optimistic.
10. Remember that if you follow tips 1 to 9 and, crucially are talented too, things will get easier with time: Keep at it.
I think they apply...happy writing!
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
24:7 Theatre Festival 2007 - the planning has begun!
OVERVIEW
The fourth annual 24:7 Theatre Festival will run this summer from 23-29 July, presenting performances of new plays in the city centre of Manchester.
24:7 uses innovative non-theatre venues, which ties in with repertory theatre pioneer Annie Horniman's connections in the area and Manchester City Council's "original-modern" marketing concept. Taking into account feedback from previous festivals, we favour venues which provide the best possible infrastructure in terms of technical and audience services, including the ability to shield the performing areas, as far as possible, from invasive noise and matching each play with the most appropriate venue.
TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THIS YEAR'S FESTIVAL VISIT:
Also keep up to date with our BLOG for news from Luke Walker on the progress of his play MIND THE GAP due to be presented at 24:7 - 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
In Work & At Work
In Work
Watch out for Inky Fingers, recent graduates Mark Winstanley and Lawrence Ghorra showcased their canned food hit, RAVIOLI at BLUE 4 – The Royal Exchange’s festival of new work from the North West . Mark and Lawrence will return to the Studio at The Exchange for a full production of the play in September 2007.
At Work
Mind The Gap by Luke Walker will be presented at this year’s 24:7 Theatre Festival. Watch this space for his production diary and follow the process from page to performance.
Mind the Gap was written while completing the Writing Live module of the course. I knew the basic scenario - a blackout and characters beginning to communicate telepathically until they merged and amalgamated into one (in)distinct character. That was the basic premise on week one. By week six I had the first full length draft. I can't take credit (although it may have come to me later) for the overlapping dialogue technique and I thank the other members of the group for telling me that the character in an early draft who constantly thought of German porn films was most definitely cut! It was great to be able to bring a new ten pages or idea every week and get instant feedback so that I didn't spend too long going down paths that were obviously the wrong ones (see above). I had the drive and energy to get the thing written in time for the deadline (just ... and after a solid 17 hour session!) and now I have my first play that will be performed.
Luke Walker 14/05/07
Watch out for Inky Fingers, recent graduates Mark Winstanley and Lawrence Ghorra showcased their canned food hit, RAVIOLI at BLUE 4 – The Royal Exchange’s festival of new work from the North West . Mark and Lawrence will return to the Studio at The Exchange for a full production of the play in September 2007.
At Work
Mind The Gap by Luke Walker will be presented at this year’s 24:7 Theatre Festival. Watch this space for his production diary and follow the process from page to performance.
Mind the Gap was written while completing the Writing Live module of the course. I knew the basic scenario - a blackout and characters beginning to communicate telepathically until they merged and amalgamated into one (in)distinct character. That was the basic premise on week one. By week six I had the first full length draft. I can't take credit (although it may have come to me later) for the overlapping dialogue technique and I thank the other members of the group for telling me that the character in an early draft who constantly thought of German porn films was most definitely cut! It was great to be able to bring a new ten pages or idea every week and get instant feedback so that I didn't spend too long going down paths that were obviously the wrong ones (see above). I had the drive and energy to get the thing written in time for the deadline (just ... and after a solid 17 hour session!) and now I have my first play that will be performed.
Luke Walker 14/05/07
Monday, April 9, 2007
Finally Radio
Ben Yeoh on Writing for Radio
Posted on January 30, 2007 on http://londontheatreblog.co.uk
London Theatre Blog is proud to present this article by London-based playwright, Benjamin Yeoh, on writing for Radio. Ben’s recent writing credits for stage include Yellow Gentlemen (2006, Oval House Theatre), Nakamitsu (Gate Theatre Translation award, coming in 2007) and for radio he wrote Patent Breaking Life Saving (December 2006, BBC World Service) and his upcoming piece The Places in Between will air on BBC Radio 4, 15th February 2007 at 14:15. Ben is also the author of a popular theatre blog that you can visit here.
Getting started for radio
I am currently writing my third piece for BBC radio. So I can’t say that I’m an experienced old hand but I have a few thoughts on the practicalities of getting started which could be of help. For further preliminary reading I recommend visiting the BBC’s Writersroom site, their Writing for Radio page (includes the checklist for drama and scripted comedy proposals) and then also the commissioning briefs for Radio 4 drama and comedy.
So, you want to write for radio?
The main buyer for radio is still the BBC. So one of the first things to do is to start listening to radio. I don’t do enough of this!
The two main practical matters and these will help you win, are:
1. Familiarise yourself with the various radio formats.
2. Familiarise yourself with the work of producers/directors that you like.
It almost goes without saying that it will also give you an idea of what you think works or doesn’t work, in terms of radio phonic possibilities.
Formats
The radio format is important. Perhaps like the sonnet form in poetry, which can enhance or which can constrict a poem, so the radio form can restrict or enrich your play.
It is worth noting that the overwhelmingly best odds for first-time writers, lie in the forty five minute afternoon play. I say ‘best odds’ because:
1. More of these plays are produced than any other type.
2. The controller/buyer is potentially more willing to take on risks in this strand than any other.
Some aspects to understand about the afternoon play slot. It comes straight after The Archers. This means that a farm-based, all-agricultural play or anything too similar to The Archers is unlikely to be endorsed. Keep in mind that the slot is forty five minutes, so this is too short for an epic but about the length perhaps for a one act play, three vignettes or some form of drama documentary.
I am not going to list all the formats here; they come in all shapes and sizes: book adaptations, series for Woman’s Hour, light entertainment half-hour slots where many comics start out before hitting TV fame, the full list is displayed on the BBC’s website here.
So you know your format and you know your story. It’s useful to have your story in some type of outline form, but don’t write the whole piece yet, unless that’s how you like to work. You don’t know if it’s going to fit into the schedule. Nor do you know what you might have to change when you start working with your producer. Now you have to find your producer.
The Producer
The radio producer, is the axis which holds the whole radio world together. She will be director/producer/casting agent/editor/dramaturg and more. The relationship is vital. Ideally then you should like their work. To find producers, you can do workshops, and network etc… but I’m willing to pass on some advice that was given to me. And that is
listen to your favourite producers on the radio.
Once you find pieces you like by producers you like then you can write or email them, telling them why you like their work and whether they would be interested in your ideas. If you have an idea, you can encapsulate it in two or three lines. Then perhaps add it on the end of your letter or e-mail to open a dialogue. It’s a relationship. Maybe they will pass you on to someone else, or you’ll meet for coffee. Or perhaps this time, they’ll be too busy to be interested, but with a bit of luck/polite persistence and some good ideas, you should find someone to work with.
A further thought on producers is that they come from broadly two schools. There are producers at the BBC and the independents, many of whom were former BBC producers themselves before going independent.
The BBC producers are slightly easier to track down as the form is her first name and last name at bbc.co.uk. But the independents aren’t too hard to find either on the web or via the BBC website which keeps a list of all the independent producers they buy from. Now there are meant to be pros and cons for both, but I believe that producers come in so many different flavours that the most important point is to find what you like and respect and what the type of work is that you want to do. I wouldn’t get too hung up about whether they’re independent or from the BBC.
So you’ve found your producer, what do you do next?
While producers will have their own process, essentially you end up giving them several ideas in some short written form and then meet to chat over coffee. She may write up the strongest of these ideas into a small paragraph and perhaps run it past the controller of radio drama to see if there’s any particular interest or problems with it. I suspect that the majority of ideas fail at this point. Basic “problems” will be explained by the producer, e.g. The Archers/afternoon play conflict. But there may be more subtle themes in the controllers’ mind, for instance they may already have two war plays in the pipeline and a third war play is not required. Or your play on slavery should really be saved for the anniversary of the abolition of slavery rather than go into the next season etc etc.
After you right up your pitch that is chosen, it then goes into the system at the BBC, where essentially one person will decide whether to buy the commission. If your idea is bought (and you should know about 6 months after you submit) then you have to write it! Now writing for radio. That’s a whole other article!
—————————————-
Writing for Radio links at a glance:
- Websites
* BBC Writersroom
* BBC Checklist for drama and scripted comedy proposals
* Commissioning briefs for BBC Radio 4 drama and comedy
* Tim Crook’s Principle’s of Writing Radio Drama page
* Some sound advice and information on writing for Radio from Writernet.co.uk
* Lit Between the Ears: a US take on Radio Drama
- Books
* Tim Crook, Radio Drama: Theory and Practice (Routledge, 1999)
* Vincent McInerney, Writing for Radio (Manchester University Press, 2001)
Posted on January 30, 2007 on http://londontheatreblog.co.uk
London Theatre Blog is proud to present this article by London-based playwright, Benjamin Yeoh, on writing for Radio. Ben’s recent writing credits for stage include Yellow Gentlemen (2006, Oval House Theatre), Nakamitsu (Gate Theatre Translation award, coming in 2007) and for radio he wrote Patent Breaking Life Saving (December 2006, BBC World Service) and his upcoming piece The Places in Between will air on BBC Radio 4, 15th February 2007 at 14:15. Ben is also the author of a popular theatre blog that you can visit here.
Getting started for radio
I am currently writing my third piece for BBC radio. So I can’t say that I’m an experienced old hand but I have a few thoughts on the practicalities of getting started which could be of help. For further preliminary reading I recommend visiting the BBC’s Writersroom site, their Writing for Radio page (includes the checklist for drama and scripted comedy proposals) and then also the commissioning briefs for Radio 4 drama and comedy.
So, you want to write for radio?
The main buyer for radio is still the BBC. So one of the first things to do is to start listening to radio. I don’t do enough of this!
The two main practical matters and these will help you win, are:
1. Familiarise yourself with the various radio formats.
2. Familiarise yourself with the work of producers/directors that you like.
It almost goes without saying that it will also give you an idea of what you think works or doesn’t work, in terms of radio phonic possibilities.
Formats
The radio format is important. Perhaps like the sonnet form in poetry, which can enhance or which can constrict a poem, so the radio form can restrict or enrich your play.
It is worth noting that the overwhelmingly best odds for first-time writers, lie in the forty five minute afternoon play. I say ‘best odds’ because:
1. More of these plays are produced than any other type.
2. The controller/buyer is potentially more willing to take on risks in this strand than any other.
Some aspects to understand about the afternoon play slot. It comes straight after The Archers. This means that a farm-based, all-agricultural play or anything too similar to The Archers is unlikely to be endorsed. Keep in mind that the slot is forty five minutes, so this is too short for an epic but about the length perhaps for a one act play, three vignettes or some form of drama documentary.
I am not going to list all the formats here; they come in all shapes and sizes: book adaptations, series for Woman’s Hour, light entertainment half-hour slots where many comics start out before hitting TV fame, the full list is displayed on the BBC’s website here.
So you know your format and you know your story. It’s useful to have your story in some type of outline form, but don’t write the whole piece yet, unless that’s how you like to work. You don’t know if it’s going to fit into the schedule. Nor do you know what you might have to change when you start working with your producer. Now you have to find your producer.
The Producer
The radio producer, is the axis which holds the whole radio world together. She will be director/producer/casting agent/editor/dramaturg and more. The relationship is vital. Ideally then you should like their work. To find producers, you can do workshops, and network etc… but I’m willing to pass on some advice that was given to me. And that is
listen to your favourite producers on the radio.
Once you find pieces you like by producers you like then you can write or email them, telling them why you like their work and whether they would be interested in your ideas. If you have an idea, you can encapsulate it in two or three lines. Then perhaps add it on the end of your letter or e-mail to open a dialogue. It’s a relationship. Maybe they will pass you on to someone else, or you’ll meet for coffee. Or perhaps this time, they’ll be too busy to be interested, but with a bit of luck/polite persistence and some good ideas, you should find someone to work with.
A further thought on producers is that they come from broadly two schools. There are producers at the BBC and the independents, many of whom were former BBC producers themselves before going independent.
The BBC producers are slightly easier to track down as the form is her first name and last name at bbc.co.uk. But the independents aren’t too hard to find either on the web or via the BBC website which keeps a list of all the independent producers they buy from. Now there are meant to be pros and cons for both, but I believe that producers come in so many different flavours that the most important point is to find what you like and respect and what the type of work is that you want to do. I wouldn’t get too hung up about whether they’re independent or from the BBC.
So you’ve found your producer, what do you do next?
While producers will have their own process, essentially you end up giving them several ideas in some short written form and then meet to chat over coffee. She may write up the strongest of these ideas into a small paragraph and perhaps run it past the controller of radio drama to see if there’s any particular interest or problems with it. I suspect that the majority of ideas fail at this point. Basic “problems” will be explained by the producer, e.g. The Archers/afternoon play conflict. But there may be more subtle themes in the controllers’ mind, for instance they may already have two war plays in the pipeline and a third war play is not required. Or your play on slavery should really be saved for the anniversary of the abolition of slavery rather than go into the next season etc etc.
After you right up your pitch that is chosen, it then goes into the system at the BBC, where essentially one person will decide whether to buy the commission. If your idea is bought (and you should know about 6 months after you submit) then you have to write it! Now writing for radio. That’s a whole other article!
—————————————-
Writing for Radio links at a glance:
- Websites
* BBC Writersroom
* BBC Checklist for drama and scripted comedy proposals
* Commissioning briefs for BBC Radio 4 drama and comedy
* Tim Crook’s Principle’s of Writing Radio Drama page
* Some sound advice and information on writing for Radio from Writernet.co.uk
* Lit Between the Ears: a US take on Radio Drama
- Books
* Tim Crook, Radio Drama: Theory and Practice (Routledge, 1999)
* Vincent McInerney, Writing for Radio (Manchester University Press, 2001)
Friday, March 30, 2007
Next Stages Conference
Next Stages Conference - March 2007 – Dramaturgy & Beyond.
Celebrating 25 years of North West Playwrights.
Jack Bradley:
How many playwrights does it take to change a light bulb?
What do you mean change?
How many dramaturges does it take to change a light bulb?
Does it have to be a light bulb?
Is development enough? Is it a convenient excuse for theatres who don’t want to take risks with new writers? Do most writers now write for development rather than production with the anticipation that the dramaturg will fix it?
Steve Waters:
What is success as a playwright? Is there such thing as a breakthrough? This indicates that the phone never stops ringing, that bills are continually paid that you live off endless commissions, make appearances and keep the press at bay. The reality is perhaps the necessity to keep breaking through in order to make a name for yourself. It’s hard work – stop and no-one would notice, retiring isn’t possible.
What commercial responsibility does the playwright have regarding the success or failure of his/her play in production? The playwright is both maker and commodity when his/her work becomes about audience ratings,
The idea of the playwright’s career suggests a linear progression from ‘lonely genius’ to knighthood. Whereas the reality is fraught with lay-offs, set-backs and gear changes and is perhaps closer to careering about than any predestined progression.
Kara McKenchnie:
Dramaturgy can only exist in a collaborative structure. The dramaturg should be diplomatic but assertive, have the ability to think structurally but flexibly and be aware of conflicting agendas within the collaborative team.
Should a dramaturg be a narrative fundamentalist?
A dramaturg should ask not tell.
Celebrating 25 years of North West Playwrights.
Jack Bradley:
How many playwrights does it take to change a light bulb?
What do you mean change?
How many dramaturges does it take to change a light bulb?
Does it have to be a light bulb?
Is development enough? Is it a convenient excuse for theatres who don’t want to take risks with new writers? Do most writers now write for development rather than production with the anticipation that the dramaturg will fix it?
Steve Waters:
What is success as a playwright? Is there such thing as a breakthrough? This indicates that the phone never stops ringing, that bills are continually paid that you live off endless commissions, make appearances and keep the press at bay. The reality is perhaps the necessity to keep breaking through in order to make a name for yourself. It’s hard work – stop and no-one would notice, retiring isn’t possible.
What commercial responsibility does the playwright have regarding the success or failure of his/her play in production? The playwright is both maker and commodity when his/her work becomes about audience ratings,
The idea of the playwright’s career suggests a linear progression from ‘lonely genius’ to knighthood. Whereas the reality is fraught with lay-offs, set-backs and gear changes and is perhaps closer to careering about than any predestined progression.
Kara McKenchnie:
Dramaturgy can only exist in a collaborative structure. The dramaturg should be diplomatic but assertive, have the ability to think structurally but flexibly and be aware of conflicting agendas within the collaborative team.
Should a dramaturg be a narrative fundamentalist?
A dramaturg should ask not tell.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Story..story..story
Story..story..story
A productive session with Development Producer Justine Potter at BBC North has given rise to the following points; read, digest and comment if you will:
Sending a script to the Writer’s Room:
1. All scripts are read (although it could take up to three months before you receive a response). You will receive one of three responses; a full script report, an invitation to contact a producer with an interest in your writing style, a simple no.
2. Once you have submitted a script you cannot re-submit it after working on the advice given.
3. All plays which receive positive responses will be passed on to a producer, there is no point in you sending work directly to a producer.
The commissioning process:
1. The producer is responsible for working with the writer on the idea with the ultimate aim of getting the play made and broadcast. This is dependant on getting the idea agreed by the commissioning editor in the offers round.
2. The offers round for the afternoon play happens twice per year (May and October)
3. The writer creates a paragraph which describes their idea, if this is agreed the writer then produces a two-page synopsis and might include a sample scene.
4. The writer usually has between 3-9 months to write the play. This process includes deadlines; at each stage the draft is read and commented on by the producer.
The producer’s job:
1. The producer works as script editor/dramaturg on the play.
2. He/she then casts the play (with the help of the broadcast assistant)
3. He/she directs the play in studio (usually over two days)
4. He/she then edits the play (usually 3/4 days)
The writer’s job:
1. Understand the medium of radio.
2. Understand the slots and opportunities out there.
3. Listen to a wide range of radio drama.
4. Foster a good relationship with your producer.
5. Have the ability to respond to feedback given, adhere to the deadlines of the drafting process.
6. Keep coming up with new ideas and be realistic about moving on from failures.
The writing:
1. The afternoon play is summarised in three words; story..story..story
2. Find a new way of telling yours; radio drama has been producing over 40 years of domestic drama – how can you do it differently?
3. Consider the switch off factor – this happens within the first two minutes – which is the first two pages in writing terms.
4. Start mid-scene, cut to the chase.
5. Whose story is it? Consider the main character – let us see their journey.
6. The audience needs to be one of the characters in the play.
7. What is the genre? The audience generally want to know fairly early on.
8. Everyone’s opinion is subjective – give the audience a reason to be surprised/entertained/educated/informed.
9. Don’t write for a slot/for an imagined audience – write the play you want passionately to write.
10. Internal monologue is often an excuse for exposition.
11. Beware of issue based plays; what are you saying? How are you saying it? Who are you to say it?!
12. What is the central question?
13. Why is this story being told now?
A productive session with Development Producer Justine Potter at BBC North has given rise to the following points; read, digest and comment if you will:
Sending a script to the Writer’s Room:
1. All scripts are read (although it could take up to three months before you receive a response). You will receive one of three responses; a full script report, an invitation to contact a producer with an interest in your writing style, a simple no.
2. Once you have submitted a script you cannot re-submit it after working on the advice given.
3. All plays which receive positive responses will be passed on to a producer, there is no point in you sending work directly to a producer.
The commissioning process:
1. The producer is responsible for working with the writer on the idea with the ultimate aim of getting the play made and broadcast. This is dependant on getting the idea agreed by the commissioning editor in the offers round.
2. The offers round for the afternoon play happens twice per year (May and October)
3. The writer creates a paragraph which describes their idea, if this is agreed the writer then produces a two-page synopsis and might include a sample scene.
4. The writer usually has between 3-9 months to write the play. This process includes deadlines; at each stage the draft is read and commented on by the producer.
The producer’s job:
1. The producer works as script editor/dramaturg on the play.
2. He/she then casts the play (with the help of the broadcast assistant)
3. He/she directs the play in studio (usually over two days)
4. He/she then edits the play (usually 3/4 days)
The writer’s job:
1. Understand the medium of radio.
2. Understand the slots and opportunities out there.
3. Listen to a wide range of radio drama.
4. Foster a good relationship with your producer.
5. Have the ability to respond to feedback given, adhere to the deadlines of the drafting process.
6. Keep coming up with new ideas and be realistic about moving on from failures.
The writing:
1. The afternoon play is summarised in three words; story..story..story
2. Find a new way of telling yours; radio drama has been producing over 40 years of domestic drama – how can you do it differently?
3. Consider the switch off factor – this happens within the first two minutes – which is the first two pages in writing terms.
4. Start mid-scene, cut to the chase.
5. Whose story is it? Consider the main character – let us see their journey.
6. The audience needs to be one of the characters in the play.
7. What is the genre? The audience generally want to know fairly early on.
8. Everyone’s opinion is subjective – give the audience a reason to be surprised/entertained/educated/informed.
9. Don’t write for a slot/for an imagined audience – write the play you want passionately to write.
10. Internal monologue is often an excuse for exposition.
11. Beware of issue based plays; what are you saying? How are you saying it? Who are you to say it?!
12. What is the central question?
13. Why is this story being told now?
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Afternoon Play - Review
‘How To Remember The Dead’ – Jemma Kennedy – Afternoon Play Wed 1st March
SYNOPSIS & NOTES
1. The play opens with flashback of an incident between a young man (John) and an elderly Polish man who has just collapsed on the street in front of him.
STRENGTH – Good bold opening – overlapping voices add intrigue.
2. John wakes up – it was another bad dream. We discover the old man died and that John can’t get the incident out of his head.
3. A naturalistic scene between John and his partner Sophie. John has been calling in sick at work, there has been tension in the relationship since the incident happened. Sophie puts pressure on John to think about their anniversary and make an effort in their relationship. She is unsympathetic and uninterested in John's recurring dreams.
PLAUSABILITY – can you have such a lucid conversation in the middle of the night?
WEAKNESS – Aren’t they in a rather clichéd relationship – fulfilling very typical gender roles? What is interesting/different about them? Why do we want to spend 45minutes discovering their secrets/desires..? What can they offer us? How is their relationship going to change/develop?
4. John meets a Polish taxi driver who is far more sympathetic. He translates a tape that John made of the dying man.
PLAUSABILITY – John is a Sociology teacher – he always carries a Dictaphone with him (?)
5. John persuades the taxi driver to take him to a church. They witness mass. They have a conversation about the differences between them. Poland and England.
WEAKNESS – The relationship feels phoney. The exchanges are superficial.
DIALOGUE – Feels void of any real feeling and is rather clichéd – ‘I take your money then I say bye bye.’ Does anyone really speak like this? Where is the emotion? Where is the dramatic tension? Where are the three dimensional characters?
6. John continues to argue with Sophie, she continues to threaten him.
7. Sophie suddenly relents and John invites the Polish guy round, they get drunk and we discover that Sophie has set him up with her best friend.
WHAT ABOUT THE DEAD GUY? Why haven’t we found anything interesting out about this? Why has the writer dumped this storyline in the favour of a plot driven TV style drama? Why is this radio?
8. Sophie leaves John.
9. John sends her flowers.
10. Sophie comes home.
11. Polish taxi driver and John witness the funeral (how) of the dead bloke. John decides he doesn’t feel that attached to him or the idea of him anymore. He has family etc. John can how more on. They destroy the tape (not that we know what was on it anyway or why it was particularly significant)
Was there a sense of journey – yes a superficial one. We didn’t feel at all connected/interested in John. His connection with the dead bloke was never explored. How do we feel at the end of 45 minutes..disappointed.
SYNOPSIS & NOTES
1. The play opens with flashback of an incident between a young man (John) and an elderly Polish man who has just collapsed on the street in front of him.
STRENGTH – Good bold opening – overlapping voices add intrigue.
2. John wakes up – it was another bad dream. We discover the old man died and that John can’t get the incident out of his head.
3. A naturalistic scene between John and his partner Sophie. John has been calling in sick at work, there has been tension in the relationship since the incident happened. Sophie puts pressure on John to think about their anniversary and make an effort in their relationship. She is unsympathetic and uninterested in John's recurring dreams.
PLAUSABILITY – can you have such a lucid conversation in the middle of the night?
WEAKNESS – Aren’t they in a rather clichéd relationship – fulfilling very typical gender roles? What is interesting/different about them? Why do we want to spend 45minutes discovering their secrets/desires..? What can they offer us? How is their relationship going to change/develop?
4. John meets a Polish taxi driver who is far more sympathetic. He translates a tape that John made of the dying man.
PLAUSABILITY – John is a Sociology teacher – he always carries a Dictaphone with him (?)
5. John persuades the taxi driver to take him to a church. They witness mass. They have a conversation about the differences between them. Poland and England.
WEAKNESS – The relationship feels phoney. The exchanges are superficial.
DIALOGUE – Feels void of any real feeling and is rather clichéd – ‘I take your money then I say bye bye.’ Does anyone really speak like this? Where is the emotion? Where is the dramatic tension? Where are the three dimensional characters?
6. John continues to argue with Sophie, she continues to threaten him.
7. Sophie suddenly relents and John invites the Polish guy round, they get drunk and we discover that Sophie has set him up with her best friend.
WHAT ABOUT THE DEAD GUY? Why haven’t we found anything interesting out about this? Why has the writer dumped this storyline in the favour of a plot driven TV style drama? Why is this radio?
8. Sophie leaves John.
9. John sends her flowers.
10. Sophie comes home.
11. Polish taxi driver and John witness the funeral (how) of the dead bloke. John decides he doesn’t feel that attached to him or the idea of him anymore. He has family etc. John can how more on. They destroy the tape (not that we know what was on it anyway or why it was particularly significant)
Was there a sense of journey – yes a superficial one. We didn’t feel at all connected/interested in John. His connection with the dead bloke was never explored. How do we feel at the end of 45 minutes..disappointed.
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